VALDOSTA —
I don’t know what it is about a crappy cake and a vegetable tray that says welcome or bon voyage, but through some cruel twisted feat of fate, they have become staples at every office party. As if it isn’t bad enough that you have to adjust to losing a pivotal member of your team or learn the name of the new hire, you are also forced to scarf down a “mystery” flavor of what you suspect is frosting and browned carrots with room temperature ranch dressing.
That’s why I am creating the office party commandments! It’s up to you, my dear budgeteers, to ensure that every office member at your job receives these and vigorously spreads them on Facebook. The fate of all of our stomachs and budgets depends on it.
• Commandment 1: Thou shall not buy a pre-packaged vegetable tray.
With just a little time and creativity, you can rock a snazzy veggie tray that will have your fellow office mates worshiping the ground you walk on. Think color! Cut strips of red and green bell peppers, slice a cucumber, get some crackers and cut some slices of colby cheese. Make your own dip with sour cream and a Hidden Valley flavor packet and you got a veggie-tray alternative that’s half the price!
• Commandment 2: Thou shall not buy cake.
Sheet cakes from a grocery store are pricey and most of the time a pain in the hiney! How many times have you picked up a cake where a name was spelled wrong? One time too many, I’m sure! That’s why I say bake, honey! You can get all the ingredients and decorations you need to make 25 cupcakes for just $7.99. Not only is this a cheap alternative to sheet cake, but it looks and tastes way better.
• Commandment 3: Thou shall not buy pre-made, store-bought sandwiches.
I don’t know what it is that compels us to eat any food that is free, but I’m determined it’s a psychological study that needs to be done. Forget solving obsessive-compulsive disorder, I need to know how to not eat mystery meat ASAP! The problem with pre-made, store-bought sandwiches is you never know what you’re eating and that terrifies me!
What if your co-worker has food allergies? A great solution to this is to buy a bag of bread and cut each slice into four triangles. Buy some meat and cheese and roll them and display them around the tray with the bread in the middle. Put some mayonnaise, mustard and pickles in little bowls and take a sandwich bar to work! You can customize it any way you want and so can your co-workers. It’s also way cheaper than marked-up sandwich trays.
• Commandment 4: Thou shall not bring weird dishes.
Your grandmother’s breaded and baked sardines may be a big hit at your house, but to those of us who don’t have an 86-year-old food visionary in our family, it’s just gross. Don’t get super fancy with your food selection. Keep it simple and bring common dishes that you know a large variety of people will like, such as bacon-wrapped sausages or spinach dip. An office party is not the proper venue to introduce your culinary discoveries.
• Commandment 5: No, a fruit tray is not a veggie tray alternative.
Having a pre-packaged tray of fruit is no better than a store-bought veggie tray. Not only are those trays incredibly expensive, they never taste quite right. Instead, cut up some green apple slices and cubes of cheddar and surround them around a container of caramel on a tray. Yummy and cheap!
I did my part, now it’s up to you, budgeteers! Yell it high and yell it low, but no matter what you do, don’t break the commandments yourself. You’re a budgeteer, for crying out loud! You know better and it’s just embarrassing.
Don’t forget to like me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/BrittanysBudgetDiary and follow me on Twitter @VDT_Brittany.
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