VALDOSTA — The smell of cheap coffee and Poligrip at 6 a.m. while I steal the buggy of someone’s grandma so I can stuff my $49.99, 10-foot, pre-lit Christmas tree in it the day after Thanksgiving really gets my blood pumping good. Woo boy, when I got a 25 percent off coupon that can be combined with my Macy’s card for an additional 10 percent off, watch out, because I will go to jail for some on-sale Steve Maddens honey.

There aren’t many things in life I hold sacred. Of course, the usual things like my DVR recordings of Dr. Oz, but above all else, nothing comes closer to my heart than a good sale. Ask my husband. He knows that if it came down to him and a sale at the Sacs Fifth Avenue outlet to not even put up a fight because it doesn’t matter how cute his dimples are, they will lose against Michael Kors every time. Don’t worry, he’s made peace with it, just like I’ve made peace with the fact that he has Wham on his ipod. After all, marriage is all about compromise.

However, it is a scientific improbability for “sale” and “compromise” to exist in the same sentence (OK, I just did it but I’ll be surprised if the printing press doesn’t break down as a result). So, when I see sales all over town compromising the feeble minds of the new buds — those are fresh, blooded, budgeteers — I take it personally. You just learned to use coupons, of course you are not prepared to pass up a “sale” of 10 cans of Pillsbury biscuits for $10. It’s like kryptonite!

So, I have developed a guide to help new buds and budgeteers alike not fall for the power of suggestion. Just like when your husband suggests that you use your blinker when driving, you throw caution to the wind and sneak attack that baby right into that left turn because, let’s face it, you’re a wild woman and will not be tamed by boundaries. That’s what a suggested sale is, a boundary. It inhibits you from buying what you need because you’ve spent all your money on useless things the sale paper said you “need.”

Rule numero uno, just because the quantity and the price are the same number does not make it a sale. For instance, five boxes of macaroni for $5 is not always the best deal. Look at the individual price that it is all of the time. More than likely, you could have always bought five boxes of macaroni for $5. The store just put in on fancy, yellow paper with stars and bold print. That doesn’t make it a sale and you’re not a monkey! Don’t be distracted by fancy colors and signs waving in the wind. Buy your one box of macaroni and be done with it. Have some self-control for Pete’s sake.

Second, say you see a sale on Capri Sun that reads 4 for $5. Look at the individual price of one box of Capri Sun. If it’s $1.25 (in a perfect world without sales tax) then guess what, $1.25 times four is $5. You don’t actually have to buy four boxes to get the sale price. It’s a tactic that stores take advantage of. As Americans, most of us have an inherent need to follow rules and signs. We feel lost without them. Society would fall to anarchy. Stores take advantage of this compulsion to follow the rules and count on you to buy what the sign tells you to even if you don’t need it.

Lastly, the number one thing that really grinds my gears is putting things on sale that really aren’t on sale. For example, a store may have a computer listed as $799.99. Guess what? That computer probably isn’t on sale, it has probably been $799.99 since when it first hit the shelf. Stores are tricking you into thinking it’s on sale by including it with other on-sale items. They want people to look at that computer and say, oh, it’s only $799.99! Without ever really knowing, people just assume that it cost more the previous week and will cost more the week after. In fact, the store is counting on this sort of ill logic. If certain products are selling well, they do this to get rid of overhead without having to actually lose profit on the item.

So as you see, stores can be very, very sneaky. That’s why when you’re shopping, you have to always make sure you’re on your A game. Know what you’re buying, be aware of the difference between a sale and a flashy sign. Businesses will always try to take advantage of your shopper intuition and now you know to look out for it. God speed, budgeteers.

Don’t forget to go “Like” me on Facbeook at www.facebook.com/brittany’sbudgetdiary and become an official member of the budgeteer revolution! If you come across a sale impostor, take a picture of it and post it to my Facebook.

Let me know what you think or even suggest a tactic for me to try. Email me at brittany.mcclure@gaflnews.com.