The Valdosta Daily Times — VALDOSTA — Four Valdosta churches host a marriage conference next weekend, featuring the husband-and-wife marriage and family counseling team of Michael and Amy Smalley.

The Smalleys take the Love Dare concepts seen in the independent Christian film “Fireproof” and incorporate them into a two-day event for married couples who feel their relationship is troubled as well as those who feel they have the best of marriages, said Dana Richards, Park Avenue United Methodist Church children’s director/programs director and an organizer of the conference. The conference is about building a stronger marriage.

Park Avenue United Methodist Church joins First Christian Church, First United Methodist Church and House of Joy in sponsoring this event, scheduled for 7-9 p.m. Friday and 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Saturday, Park Avenue UMC, 100 E. Park Ave. Ticket: $35 per couple. Advanced tickets suggested and are available at the Potter’s House and the host churches. Nursery available. More information: Call 242-3562.

The Valdosta Daily Times conducted an e-mail interview with Amy Smalley about the conference and the state of marriage.



THE VALDOSTA DAILY TIMES: There seems to be a misconception about the marriage conference: That it is only for couples having troubles in their marriages, but it is for all married couples, correct?

AMY SMALLEY: “‘Come one come all’ is the message we give to every couple. A number of years ago, we surveyed people attending Smalley Marriage Conferences and on average they ranked their marriages at 7.5 on a scale of 1 to 10 — 10 being the best they could imagine. It proves the point that marriage takes work and those working at it are actively involved. A renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gotman found that couples who stay together and are satisfied in their marriage have a 5-to-1 positive-to-negative ratio. Some of us have some catching up to do. Our couples event is a great opportunity to shine the light of truth on marriage. The real marriage we all deal with daily. Our greatest compliments come from people who come up to us and say, ‘You guys are so much like us,’ or ‘You are so much like my wife or my husband.’ We think when you’re able to see yourself through someone else’s eyes in a relaxed fun way you want to open up and learn. We aren’t pretentious or talk over our audiences’ heads. We don’t blame one sex over the other — women do not get a free pass because there’s an imperfect wife wearing her faults like badges of humility.”



THE TIMES: How long have the two of you been married and do you have children?

AMY SMALLEY: “We have been married 14 years. We both graduated from Baylor University undergrad then we went on to Wheaton College where we received our MA in counseling with emphasis in marriage and family. We have three children: boy Cole 12, girl Reagan 10, and boy David 7.”



THE TIMES: How did you get started with the Smalley Marriage and Family Center? At what point did you both feel you had something as a couple to share with other couples and families?

AMY SMALLEY: “We founded Smalley Marriage and Family Center after working for eight years developing and speaking with Smalley Relationship Center. We moved to Texas in 2005 to be near (Amy’s) family and to start our own marriage coaching center.”



THE TIMES: What’s the Valdosta marriage conference going to be like? What should participants expect?

AMY SMALLEY: “Michael and I are so different personality wise. I am more conservative in dress and demeanor while Michael is laid back and animated with all his stories. Our couple’s hear our mistakes and then how we cleaned them up. We teach how couples can set each other up to do the right thing with what we call ‘best-case scenarios’ for marriage which allow happiness to be an obtainable goal.”



THE TIMES: I would imagine the economy is one of the toughest problems facing couples these days. What are couples most struggling with these days?

AMY SMALLEY: “Conflict is the main reason couples divorce whether it’s about finances, sex, or children. People need to learn how to understand each other first and then move to solutions. But actually one of the biggest issues facing couples more and more is the intrusion of pornography in the marriage. That’s why we love the testimony of the ‘Fireproof’ movie. We were part of the prescreening to pastors and layleaders and it was confirmed over and over how saturated we are with the influence of this intimacy impostor. We address the real needs of men and women and what a healthy sex life can look like.”