VALDOSTA — “The Raven” (Mystery: 1 hour, 50 minutes)

Starring: John Cusack, Luke Evans and Alice Eve

Director: James McTeigue

Rated: R



Movie Review: A killer murders people in Baltimore using methods similar to those in the dark tales of Edgar Allan Poe (Cusack). A Baltimore detective Emmett Fields (Luke Evans) enlists the help of Poe to catch the killer. A race soon begins with Poe and Fields trying to catch the killer who leaves clues. Matters become more intense when the killer abducts Poe’s love interest Emily Hamilton (Alice Eve).

A fictional mystery is the presentation, but it fails to be a gratifying mystery, even if entertaining. This exists for a number of reasons.

“The Raven” tries to be too much of a literary work when it is like a combination of “Saw” and “Sherlock Holmes.” Characters speak lines of a pretentious lecturer. Often, the lines appear awkward — poetic license gone awry.  

Cusack is interesting but not correct for this role. As an actor, he is not dramatic enough to play a serious role, and he is not comedic enough to inspire good humor. He is not convincing as Poe.

Luke Evans is convincing. He and Cusack should have switched roles.

Some good points do exist. The story is suspenseful enough that it holds one’s interest. It also has a few keen intellectual notions like a literary figure meets a fictional photoplay.

Poe as portrayed by Cusack refers to other players as philistine, indifferent to intellectual achievements or uncultured. Every time he utters those words, someone scratching their fingernails across a chalkboard is imagined.

Grade: C+ (Despite flaws, it “crows” on you.)



“The Pirates! Band of Misfits” (Animation/Adventure: 1 hour, 28 minutes)

Starring: Hugh Grant, Salma Hayek and Jeremy Piven

Directors: Peter Lord and Jeff Newitt

Rated: PG (Violence, crude humor and some language)



Movie Review: The Pirate Captain (Grant) wants to be the Pirate of the Year for 1837. Along the way, The Pirate Captain and his crew encounter Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton), Charles Darwin (David Tennant) and a host of other ruthless pirates.  

This animated feat is a piratical blunder. It is a knockoff of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” series. The film is enjoyable but far from impressive.

Much of the humor is more appropriate for mature audiences. Several jokes predate the children of this film’s audience. Also, multiple other themes appear adult-related, such as Darwin and inferences to his theory of evolution and references to author Jane Austin.

Grade: C (Arrr — a real bunch of misfits.)



“The Five-Year Engagement” (Comedy/Romance: 2 hours, 5 minutes)

Starring: Jason Segel, Emily Blunt and Chris Pratt

Director: Nicholas Stoller

Rated: R (Profanity, nudity, sexual innuendo, sexuality and crude humor)



Movie Review: If five years appears to be a long engagement, this film feels longer. Tom Solomon (Segel) and Violet Barnes (Blunt) are a happy couple. They find themselves constantly postponing their marriage, so Barnes can finish her graduate work in psychology. Their long engagement becomes stressing for them and for movie audiences.

Segel is masterful at putting together an engaging screenplay. He and Director Stoller (“Get Him to the Greek,” 2010) wrote this romantic comedy. They penned last year’s “The Muppets.” They are a good team.

The problem with this screenplay is its lack of intelligence attributed to the characters. They could easily get married and then move to achieve their goals. Instead, they keep delaying their marriage for minuscule reasons.

Plus, the repetitive arguing of Segel and Blunt’s characters about when they should marry is annoying. It is not long before you see they should part ways. He stays when she seems unwilling to commit. He is goofy to the point that one also wonders why she stays.

They love each other, but they are difficult to love.

The couple’s relationship takes a while to get where it is going, only to lead viewers to an exhausting point. Movie characters are too busy trying to be romantic that no couple just gets together anymore. If Segel and Blunt’s onscreen personas would just get together, this would be a shorter engagement for viewers.

Grade: C (A long wait!)

 

“Safe” (Action: 1 hour, 35 minutes)

Starring: Jason Statham, Catherine Chan and Chris Sarandon

Director: Boaz Yakin

Rated: R (Extreme violence, profanity)



Movie Review: Luke Wright (Statham) is an ex-NYPD officer turned cage fighter. He is struggling and down on his luck. He is just about to end it all when he spots Mei (Chan), a young girl whose memory contains a secretive numerical code. Asian Triads, a Russian mob, and corrupt NYPD officials aggressively pursue Mei. Wright becomes Mei’s protector.

“Safe” is reminiscent of 1986’s “The Golden Child” (Director Michael Ritchie). In both films, very noble men with problems of their own help children with very special talents survive ruthless pursuers.

“Safe” is all action. The action sequences are good but the plot does not make sense. This is not because it is difficult to follow. The story is intriguing, yet certain parts of it are cluttered and messy. Still, the film’s highlight is its action scenes. Nearly all scenes involve some type of action.

Rarely a break to breathe exists before people kill or are killed. In fact, it would be easier to count the survivors than the fatalities.

Statham plays his action roles very similarly. He often appears as if playing the same characters continuously. While he is good on the action and always enjoyable to watch as a tough guy, this makes his roles nominally repetitive.

Again, the story is messy. Still, “Safe” manages some nice surprises among plenty of action. This is a safe bet for action movie lovers. Others may find safety watching another cinematic feature.

Grade: C+ (A safe bet.)