VALDOSTA — “The Switch” (Comedy: 1 hour, 28 minutes); Starring: Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, Thomas Robinson and Patrick Wilson; Directors: Josh Gordon and Will Speck; Rated: PG-13 (Thematic elements including sexual material, profanity, nudity, brief violence, and drug-alcohol usage)

Movie Review: Kassie Larson (Aniston) has decided now is the time to have a child. She decides to have a child via artificial insemination. A married man, Roland (Wilson) decides to be the donor. Kassie’s best friend, Wally Mars (Bateman), is not happy with this decision. While intoxicated, Wally accidentally sabotages Kassie’s pregnancy by replacing Roland’s donation with his own sample. Seven years later Kassie and Wally reunite. The baby she had is Sebastian (Robinson), whose behavior is very similar to Wally’s comportment. After remembering the switch that occurred seven years earlier, Wally realizes Sebastian is his son. This just as a divorced, Roland reenters Kassie’s life as a potential love interest.

Bateman and Aniston are neat here. One can easily think of their friendship as genuine, though the romantic notions between them appear awkward. Bateman is the better of the two, proving he is more than able to play leading roles. Aniston is the weaker of the two, as she appears more as a supporting actress, not a leading lady. Maybe, she spent too much time on “Friends,” where no one really was the lead because they all were. Still they do inspire laughs and plenty of moving dramatic moments. Kid actor Thomas Robinson in his big-screen debut upstages them both. Robinson is a treat to watch, and he inspires much of humor.

While, “Switch” is slow moving at times, it never fails to entertain. If audiences stay with it long enough, all should find a nice retreat, despite its passé romance.        

Grade: B- (No need to switch theaters)



“Lottery Ticket” (Comedy: 1 hour, 40 minutes); Starring: Bow Wow, Brandon T. Jackson, Naturi Naughton, Loretta Devine and Ice Cube; Rated: PG-13 (Sexual content, profanity, violence and thematic elements, including brief underage drinking); Director: Erik White

Movie Review: Kevin Carson (Bow Wow) has hit the jackpot, literally. While buying a lottery ticket for his grandmother (Devine), Carson decides to purchase a lottery ticket for himself. Carson wins the lottery for $370 million. However, the lottery office will not open until Tuesday because of the Fourth of July holiday weekend. Meanwhile, romantic suitors, a community mob boss and the neighborhood’s thug bully pursue Carson. Survival over the long weekend will be rough.

You hit the lottery for millions. Your first move — move heck out of the hood.

“Lottery” is comparable to “Friday” (Director F. Gary Gray, 1995). An appropriate title for this piece would be “Friday, Eight Years Later.” Two young men run around an urban area. Their ensuing antics and their involvement with others cause much trouble. Again, the photoplays are comparable. The best offered is Ice Cube as the crotchety former boxer Mr. Washington. Making “Lottery Ticket” even more like “Friday,” Ice Cube utters a memorable line to a character after that character is rendered unconscious.

Surprise! You won another free ticket, except it is not to a better film.     

Grade: C (A risky gamble.)



“Piranha 3D” (Thriller: 1 hour, 28 minutes); Starring: Elizabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Jerry O’Connell and Richard Dreyfuss; Director: Alexandre Aja; Rated: R (Violence, nudity, profanity, sexual innuendo, gore, sexuality and thematic elements)

Movie Review: The population of the small town of Lake Victoria grows tremendously during Spring Break. People arrive there every year for fun in the sun and waters of Lake Victoria. This year the visitors and locals are not alone. Prehistoric piranhas are unleashed from an ancient cavern beneath Lake Victoria’s waters. This year, sunburns and sexually transmitted diseases are not the only health risks for spring breakers.          

French director Aje helms this gorefest. Yet all the topless women make “Piranha 3D” appear very much like an extended edition of “Girls Gone Wild.” At times, this appears more like porn than a thriller with killer fish. The only thing rivaling the gory effects of this film is the amount of well-endowed — implants galore — topless women in 3D! Note the exclamation mark.  

Aje (“The Hills Have Eyes”) executes a couple of concepts superbly. One, Aje creates a secluded place far from any major metropolitan area. This makes it appear victims are on their own, disconnected from the rest of the planet.  Two, he nicely teases using an elderly gentleman and two children. No one wants to see a grandparent or children eaten by piranhas. Wild, crazy and drunk college-aged students on the other hand... Well, this film’s aim is that demographic.

This movie appears more like a SyFy channel original, despite the talents of Shue, Rhames, Dreyfuss. Christopher Lloyd, whose character is similar to his scientist role from “Back to the Future,” is unique here. The rest of the cast, males and females, all look like models. If only a spring-break buffet of beautiful bodies was this delicious, someone would create winter, summer and fall breaks too.

The biggest problem with this film is several characters become expert rescuers instantly. A certain falsity exists with modern films. Characters who have barely wielded a butter knife know how annihilate piranhas with a shotgun. Other players stop for a romantic kiss with piranhas nearby. This stuff makes for nice suspenseful moments, which rarely inspire believable notions.

Grade: C (Action packed, but not meaty enough)



“Nanny McPhee Returns” (Family Comedy: 1 hour, 49 minutes); Starring: Emma, Thompson, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Rhys Ifans and Maggie Smith; Director: Susanna White; Rated: PG (Some mild language, rude behavior and mild thematic elements)

Movie Review: Isabel Green (Gyllenhaal) is tasked with taking care of her three children and her niece and nephew in her countryside house. The children become unruly as they constantly fight and compete. Nanny McPhee (Thompson), an unusual nanny, arrives to solve Green’s problems. McPhee quickly makes the children behave through magic. As the children learn how to behave appropriately, McPhee’s unattractive appearance becomes more pleasing.    

This family film is a follow up to 2005’s “Nanny McPhee” (Director Kirk Jones), which was based on the “Nurse Matilda” books. “Returns” is very reminiscent to its prequel, but lacks the authenticity of the 2005 version. Susanna White makes McPhee, played nicely by Thomson, too fantastical, eliminating any possibility of believability.

On the other hand, this is a family film, and children will enjoy it. Parents should find it a nominal feature but enjoyable enough to watch with their small fries. Still, McPhee stretches itself, to improbable feats this outing.  

Grade: C (A meager return)



“Vampires Suck” (Comedy: 1 hour, 22 minutes); Starring: Matt Lanter, Jenn Proske, and Christopher N. Riggi; Directors: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer; Rated: PG-13 (Profanity, thematic elements, nudity and brief violence)

Movie Review: Two people directed this muddle of filmmaking, proving two heads are not better than one. This screenplay is a mediocre spoof of Stephanie Meyers’ popular novels. Virtually, this film is a direct duplicate of the “Twilight” films. The film follows the story of Becca Crane (Proske) in Sporks, Wash. She is torn between Edward Sullen and Jacob White (Riggi). The plot is easily recognizable — the typical teen melodrama.  

Sometimes, movie producers’ only reason for making a movie is that it will make money, especially when practically stealing the plot of a more popular film. “Vampires Suck” is only a means to poke fun at all of the silly parts of the “Twilight” series. While some funny stuff is sparingly presented, it is mostly crude, cheap elementary antics.

Grade: D+ (This film sucks.)