By Sandy Sanders
We are big on girls in my family; one wife, two daughters and five granddaughters. The family name will slide into history with my death. For some people to have their family name not passed on would be unthinkable. With the birth of each daughter and granddaughter, I have learned the true value lies in the person, not in a name.
Reading a front page story in this newspaper last week reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend a few years back. I believe the talk started after reading where a college co-ed had been raped and killed. We both agreed if that happened to a daughter or granddaughter of ours, we would most likely end up in jail. The police had best get the person very quickly, we said.
The story in The Times was about The Haven here in Valdosta that shelters rape and domestic violence victims. The paragraph that stopped my quick read of the story was “the women’s shelter currently has 22 beds, which are almost full.” The shelter director said the economy is a big part of the blame for domestic violence increases. I agree it could be the spark but not the total cause. It should take way more than bad times for a man to beat his wife. This too is a circumstance which could put me behind bars. I can’t image the anger I would feel if a daughter or granddaughter needed to seek shelter because of an abusive husband or boyfriend.
Television and movie dramas have been produced with the storyline of a father in revenge of a crime against a daughter. It is easy to look at the movie as fiction because we are removed from the story. What if I was not, I have tried to reason before. What would I do? Could I control my anger? Or would I be out of control? I honestly do not know how to answer my questions.
I know a man of reason should be reasonable. I know I would still have a family who needs me, but … Until I am placed in this situation (I pray I am never tested), I do not know how I would react.
The Haven right now has nearly 22 daughters who are hurting. I wonder about their fathers and if they are as angry as I would be. I might be wrong but I think some of the women are there because it took a stranger to care enough to help. Their families, their fathers, their brothers and even their mothers have failed to answer their call for help.
We are about to enter the contribution season for the United Way and The Haven is one of the non-profits that benefits. When you are asked to give money this year, think about this shelter and the 22 beds where abused women can sleep safely; where children can sleep without hearing the cries of their mother at the hands of an abusive man.
