I heard the phrase “dumbing down teenagers” this past weekend. News stories have been written of how our education system is doing this but the comments, I heard, had little if anything to do with how we are or are not educating our children. In this column, I am not attempting to look at that side but it could possibly be a result.

Most of our great-grandparents and many grandparents never experienced being a teenager. Prior to the 20th century, childhood lasted until about age 11 or 12. When age 12 or 13 was marked off on the calendar then they were a child no more. With that birthday they passed from childhood to adulthood — no teen years were to be in their future. For most, this meant marriage and parenting were soon to follow.

From men and women of the Bible to historical figures from this country, all began their influence on our history while they were in the teens but we read of them as adults. Their responsibilities were definitely adult size. Jesus taught at the Temple at 12. George Washington took over as head of his family at age 11 and was the surveyor of his county at 17.

In the early part of the last century, our society decided the high school education years needed to be mandated so as to help curb the abuses of child labor. By doing so, we extended the pre-adult years to age 18. These changes were definitely needed but we did not plan for ways to replace some of the lessons our young adults were learning.

As the American society changed, two of the most important attributes of an adult were taken away from teenagers — responsibility and maturity. The concept that teenagers are still children and not adults took hold in the early ’50s and moved at bullet-train speed into the 21st century.

No longer is the need or desire for a job or responsibility of any importance to a teenager. Daddy and mama (and I include myself as a grandparent) have accepted the job of provider. As a group, we are not doing a very good job of teaching responsibility to our children and, without responsibility, maturity may come way too late for many.

We all want more for our children than we had. We try to fix this by providing everything for them. As each decade passes, our desires have grown faster than can be absorbed.

During the past few years, I have gotten to know international students who come to Valdosta State to advance their education. I recently asked a young lady, who grew up in a former Soviet bloc country and is now a graduate of VSU, what she sees as the difference of being a teenager in her country and ours. Here is her answer:

“Experiencing life outside the limits of your own country makes you deal with issues that you would never deal with if you live in the comfort of your home. In a place where you don’t know anybody, the rules and laws, and the way of life, your needs are narrowed down and simplified to one — to survive. Then you reevaluate your priorities and appreciate the basics such as having a job, having a place to live, having a car, a scholarship, etc. You fought for it and gained it yourself, and you hold on to it. It’s hard for a teen to appreciate such basics if they are taken for granted.

“I have noticed that the majority of young college students around here have loans or their parents pay for school. Back in Bulgaria, nobody (yet) uses loans for school, and people just now started using credit cards and loans to purchase things they want. Several years ago, if you don’t have money (cash), you don’t buy or you work hard to earn.

“Thus, financial support plays a huge role in young people’s lives, as they are easily tempted and rarely have the habit of saving.

“Another difference is the restrictions young people have. The more you are told what not to do, the more tempted you are to do it. In Bulgaria, teens are exposed to alcohol at an early age in their own homes, for example. My father was giving me to try liquor and beer since I was 12. Thus, alcohol was no big deal for me. I knew the taste of it, and I was taught to be careful with it and know my limit, so when I was away from my parents, I was a responsible drinker. We have very close relationship with our parents and talk openly on subjects such as alcohol and sex and how to protect ourselves instead of not doing it. Schools are open to these subjects, too, and we discuss these topics in class. In contrast, the drinking age here is 21 and for many if not most of the young people, 21 is the number that opens the doors to the bars and the tabs. At the age of 21 they finally start experiencing life which is too late in my opinion.”

I know many reading this will not agree with her thoughts on alcohol and sex but read this concluding comment from her and tell me you cannot agree.

“In short, when one gains his/her independence him/herself, and when one has a warm, close relationship with his/her parents and their emotional support rather than financial only, when schools are open to discuss and prepare teens on important subjects rather than forbid or avoid them, then teens will be better prepared for life away from the family and after college.”

Parents, are you listening? Our children have and are being dumb-downed by us. How sad.



Sandy Sanders is the Publisher of The Valdosta Daily Times.