Since the current academic year is almost over, I thought I’d give a “tip of the hat” this week to Suwannee County’s public school teachers, in particular those from about 7th grade and up; the so-called teen years. You know, that memorable timeframe where our little darlings turn into not-so-little monsters seemingly overnight.

Although I have done some guest-lecturing on occasion in high school classrooms, I’ve never been a school teacher to which America’s adolescents should respond with a hardy and hail, “Thank you Lord!” I simply don’t have the temperament to be any type of teacher, let alone a good one. On the other hand, I have nothing but admiration for those people who enter the profession.

Honestly, I always thought if Satan really wanted to test Job’s faith in God, he wouldn’t have given him boils. He would have made him a high school teacher, particularly in the weeks just before the arrival of summer vacation. Think about it for a minute. Those last few days have got to be frustrating for even the most patient instructor. After all, every student wants the school year to be over…YESTERDAY!

The kids that care about getting a good education are exhausted from months of study, while those teens who are failing, or think school is a waste of their time, are prime candidates for getting into trouble. To make matters worse, the secondary-level classroom is comparable to a laboratory beaker filled with a concentrated mix of estrogen and testosterone meaning even the tiniest perceived slight can produce a wave of female tears. The guys are even worse. To them, the same alleged insult can quickly escalate into full-fledged combat.

The lone referee in the center of this potential daily mayhem is the teacher. Heck, at least a lion tamer is given a whip and a chair.

Having established what the schools are like at this time of year, I want to tell you about a Suwannee County trade teacher, who I feel should be given a special award for what I think was a stroke of genius in restoring student order.  

This instructor, whose name I won’t reveal because I don’t want to invade her privacy, suddenly found herself confronting an incident outside her classroom in which two testosterone-filled “bulls” were busy pounding on each other for all they were worth.

Now, most teachers would have rushed into the fray and attempted to intercede. And in the process, if history is any indicator, it is more than a little likely the teacher him or herself would have ended up getting belted for their efforts. Heck, I remember one news story from years ago where a male instructor actually ended up being attacked and beaten by the two combatants he was attempting to separate.

Our Suwannee County classroom heroine was far wiser than that, and more fortunate. Not far from the fight was a garden hose. You guessed it! She quickly turned it on and gave both pugilists a good drenching ending the melee before any really serious injury could result.  

When praised for her actions, she modestly responded, “Oh, I have three boys. I KNOW HOW TO STOP A FIGHT!”

I say “Bravo!” to this quick-witted gal and even go so far as to suggest fire hoses might be a worthwhile addition to every classroom.

Jim lives in Live Oak.