Each year, there’s a panel of people who decide the worst names assigned to children that year. The list for 2016 is already in. And when I said a panel of people as opposed to a panel of “experts,” what I’m saying is that even those people who take their shirts off during a Green Bay Packers game in 5 degrees below zero weather could have served in this capacity.

Now I’ve always posed that one should give considerable thought to naming a child. A name can be a proud moniker or it can be a cross to bear. It can mean the difference between someone excelling or failing. It might even cause someone to climb a tower with an automatic weapon. Certainly it could be an embarrassment. 

I think a five-day waiting period or maybe an even longer consideration prior to birth might be appropriate, although I don’t think that should be a law … just common sense.

And while some folks embrace the idea that family names should be carried on, if I were uncle Horatio I would let it be known that I would like to end that  madness.

So here’s a few names that made the “worst list” so far in 2016.

Lets begin with Meldor. 

Wasn’t that a name in “Lord of the Rings?” I believe I would have watched a few more movies if that was my main source. But at least it wasn’t Batman. But then he could have demanded a really cool car for his 16th birthday.

And how about Mhavrych? It’s pronounced Maverick. Some people seem to like “cute” spellings. Now Maverick was a pilot in “Top Gun” and he was a gambler in the TV series “Maverick.” And it’s a name often associated with untamable horses. I’m thinking there’s just too much inference to a “wild child” by this choice. It’s just too much of a suggestion, because some people like to live up to their names. 

Then comes Beberly. Wow! Who would do this to a child. Even if she doesn’t have a lisp, she’s going to sound like it every time she tells someone her name. 

And speaking of names that might be too suggestive, here comes Danger!

How many school teachers will consider another profession when he walks into the classroom?

Probably the worst of the worst is Little Sweatmeat. On how many levels is that just plain wrong? Child cruelty charges might even be considered. To say this would be a cross to bear is an understatement. It’s a cross to bear with spikes sticking out. God help that child!

Some people like to take a word and spell it backwards and hang it on their child. So if you wonder about little Nevaeh, print it out and hold it up to a mirror and meet “Heaven.” On well, I guess it beats Danger and Little Sweetmeat.

And why would anyone name a kid Colon?  I suppose the upside of having this name is that this person will always be reminded to get checked for polyps.

Then there’s Abcde. It’s a girl’s name. I tried to pronounce it, and it sounded like obesity. Talk about making a child self-conscious! Again, God help her.

The worst part? 2016 isn’t half over. More to come.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)