‘You deserve the best’ : VSU event combats sexual violence

Published 9:30 am Thursday, April 6, 2017

Derrek Vaughn | The Valdosta Daily TimesDr. Jessica Houston, now a licensed master social worker, author and motivational speaker, shared her story of surviving domestic violence in front of hundreds of Valdosta State University students and professors Tuesday night at the university’s Take Back The Night event.

VALDOSTA — Dr. Jessica Houston was just a freshman in college when the six-foot-five star football player started showing interest in her.

She was smitten.

But as the relationship progressed, things started going off the rails. It started with him trying to control her wardrobe and constantly checking in on her, Houston said. Then he started playfully shoving her.

Then it progressed to him full-on hitting and choking her, and it wasn’t playful. But even then she didn’t leave.

As a young girl with a self-esteem that was almost non-existent, Houston thought the abusive relationship was the best she could do, she said.

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“I really thought in my mind that I was ugly. I thought that if we break up, nobody else is going to want me. That was the story that I told myself,” Houston said.

“I appeared to have it all together, but really I didn’t. I walked around like I was really, really confident. And nobody ever would’ve thought that when I went to my room (and) looked in the mirror, I would literally tear myself apart.

“I did not like my skin tone, my lips, my hips. I didn’t like anything about myself. And so that low self-confidence impacted not only what I said to myself, not only how I treated myself, but also it impacted how I allowed others to treat me.

“What you believe about yourself is very, very powerful.”

Houston, now a licensed master social worker, author and motivational speaker, shared her story of surviving domestic violence in front of hundreds of Valdosta State University students and professors Tuesday night at the university’s Take Back The Night event.

TBTN stretches back at least half a century in Europe and 30 years in the United States and was sparked from a collective desire to make the streets a safe place at night.

Today, the event focuses on ending sexual assault, domestic violence, dating violence, sexual abuse and all other forms of sexual violence, such as what Houston experienced.

“Ms. Houston has had various experiences that many of our students can relate to,” said Dr. Bobbie Ticknor, a VSU faculty member and one of the event organizers. “Not only has she battled with poverty, mental illness and domestic violence, but she has also had to overcome being sexually victimized.

“Hearing her story reminds people that they are not alone and they don’t have to suffer in silence. This can also be an important discussion for those who have not personally been touched by these issues.

“We all carry our own experiences and you never know what someone is going through. Learning more about these issues can help foster an environment of openness and caring. It is our hope that this event will encourage more discussion and help our community know what resources are available to them here at VSU.”

The event highlighted how widespread sexual violence is — one in three women and one in six men in the U.S. will experience it — but it also focused on the power people have to prevent and recover from that violence.

Houston’s message was one of self-love, saying that building confidence and setting high standards for relationships goes a long way in steering people clear of the abuse she experienced.

She also shared the symptoms of abuse that friends and family should look out for: controlling behavior on the abuser’s part, and anxiety, depression, drug use, self-harm or isolation on the victim’s part.

Haley Vinson, a VSU senior who attended the event with her Alpha Sigma Alpha sorority sisters, said sexual assault is a problem for everybody, not just victims.

“It’s an issue that’s prevalent on our campus as well as a lot of other campuses,” Vinson said. “It’s not just a police issue. It’s a community issue.

“We need to look at how we as a community look at our rape culture and how we’re treating victims of sexual assault and our micro-aggressions against them. It’s important for us as a community to come together and support victims.”

Holly Wright, a VSU counselor and event organizer, said it’s important to provide an open dialogue on sexual violence.

“One in four college students are sexually assaulted between the ages of 18 to 24 while at college,” Wright said. “So we want to bring awareness to that. We want to really work on taking out that stigma of sexual assault and rape, to know that it is OK for survivors (and) bystanders to come forward.”

Dr. Tricia Hale, director of the VSU Counseling Center, said less than 50 percent of sexual violence victims report the abuse.

The event also screened the winner of the TBTN Short Film Challenge. Jacobe Love’s “Loco-Motives” compares rape to being hit by a train, but at the end a therapist tells the rape victim what Houston invoked in her speech — that all victims have the right and ability to take back their power, happiness and peace of mind.