VALDOSTA – It is a universally accepted fact that clowns are scary. I, however, as a clown, am not.

Wild Adventures Theme Park staff gave me the opportunity to learn this about myself late one Friday night during “Terror in the Wild.”

“Terror in the Wild” is Wild Adventures’ annual Halloween event with scary attractions, many of which change from year to year. This year’s includes a haunted maze called Wasteland, two scare zones called Red’s Revenge and Final Harvest, The Mine, Camp Hackaway, The Price is Fright and the all-new 3D maze called Carn-Evil, which is where I did my “scaring,” or lack thereof.

The actors who typically work in Terror audition for their roles with some being cast for specific roles they may reprise annually. Some are regular Wild Adventures employees while others come in just for this time of year.

The actors who make it through auditions undergo scare training and orientation and are given their costumes and masks, creating their new Terror-ific persona.

I know who I am as a person and I would not have made it through auditions but, for the sake of journalism, Jessica Lynn Logan and Stephanie Barden of Wild Adventures gave me a blood-stained polka-dot dress and clown horn anyway.

Barden stuck with Valdosta Daily Times Copy Desk Chief Sarah Warrender, who served as the photographer for the evening, while Logan transformed into Marbles the Clown to scare alongside me.

Before entering into Carn-Evil, Logan had to turn me into a killer clown which involved blacking out my eyes and mouth with charcoal to hide my features beneath the creepy clown mask which was actually made by Logan.

While Logan’s character had its own persona, I was too busy being concerned I was either going to accidentally hit someone while attempting to scare them or be hit by someone who was running from the actual scary clowns to come up with my own. A lawsuit was scarier than a bloodthirsty clown.

I won’t give away the actors’ secrets of scaring, but I will say the actors keep everyone’s safety at the forefront and have a “scare coach” in each area in case a need for assistance should arise.

After getting clownified, Logan and I fell into line as the Fearmaker, another actor turned monster for the evening, released all the other actors into their respective spots for the night of terror. While waiting for the release, it was easy to see every actor hired by Wild Adventures was truly excited about the work ahead of them, which is something you don’t get to see often in any job.

Walking to our location meant walking as creepy clowns among innocent park guests to get to Carn-Evil and, as an overly talkative person, the hardest part of this particular experience was just keeping my mouth shut.

With Carn-Evil being a 3D maze, the inside of the building was uniquely painted with textured walls and hiding spots for the other clowns. Everyone who enters was given 3D glasses to put on for a truly unique and supposedly horrifying experience. 

Logan and I were placed in a room with a mirror in a corner and blocks in the center of the floor for hiding. Brightly colored 3D skulls lined the walls and carnival music rang throughout the building.

This is where I learned the truth about the Terror in the Wild actors, which is it is just a straight-up difficult job. It’s hot. I’m too old to crouch down behind things. It’s hard to breathe in masks. People can be difficult to scare, especially when you’re me.

I should note that Logan had a chainsaw while I had a clown horn so obviously she had the scary upper hand but also I just cannot scare. The best I could do was my version of “jumping” from behind the items in the room and squeak my sad little horn at people as they casually walked through my room of not so horrors.

The typical shift of an actor lasts for a few hours, yet I could only manage a few minutes of “scaring” before I called it quits and was led out of Carn-Evil with the taste of charcoal and shame in my mouth.

Although I’d only been an unnamed killer clown for a short period of time, I left drenched in sweat and with difficult to remove charcoal staining my face. However, it was certainly a fun experience and I could see why the regular actors truly love their jobs.

Terror in the Wild will continue Fridays and Saturdays through Oct. 26 and is not recommended for children younger than 12. Kid-O-Ween is the more family-friendly Halloween experience and continues Saturdays and Sundays through Oct. 27.

For more information or to purchase park tickets online, visit wildadventures.com. 

Desiree Carver is a reporter at the Valdosta Daily Times. She can be reached at (229) 244-3400 ext. 1215.