It was Redneck Night at the Chinese restaurant.

It was Redneck Night at the Chinese restaurant.

A shoeless boy, his nose he’s a pickin’

While slurping down Gen. Tso’s Chicken.

Redneck Night at the Chinese restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

When someone’s sister could also be his aunt.

Through Myrtle’s dentures squished something gooey

Like squealing for a pig, she yelled, Chop Suey.

Redneck Night at the Chinese restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

Where a man’s comb-over might look like a bouffant.

The place-mat claimed Gus was born a dragon.

Yet, from his jeans, his butt-crack was waggin’

Redneck Night at the Chinese restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

Where some scalps flake like a day-old croissant.

Three running kids made their Mama yell.

Eat that octopus before I spank your tail.

Redneck Night at the Chinese restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

When from sleeveless arms bluish blob tattoos do haunt.

The food on Bubba’s plate looked more like a hill

But with help from his gut not a drop did he spill.

Redneck Night at the Chinese restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

Where no one can remember ever looking gaunt.

Uncle Jessie, he don’t have all his teeth

He spits out wontons but sure likes the beef

Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

Where saying excuse me is taken as a taunt.

Old Bud’s a smell that’s got its own power

Stick him by a fan, it runs sweet and sour.

Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

Where exposed bellies too many people do flaunt.

Mama ate so much she let out a burp

Got a fourth plate, wiped her mouth on her shirt.

Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

Just grab another plate and get what you might want.

Grandpa choked on a mandarin mullet

Saved him using chop sticks down his gullet.

Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant

Where buffet trips can be an exercising jaunt.

Jim’d go to the john and do what he’d do

Come back to the buffet and yell, Round Two.

Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.



It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

It was Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.

Ain’t no doggie bags for left-over food loot.

So I stuff sushi into my cowboy boot.

Redneck Night at the Chinese Restaurant.



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Dean Poling is The Valdosta Daily Times assistant managing editor.