Someone once said, “Handshakes and hugs will always trump likes and shares.” In our current norm, albeit hopefully short-lived, we are being forced to rely more on “likes and shares” than handshakes and hugs and the latter currently in danger of extinction. 

Being a serial hugger myself, I can tell you; there is no comparison.

We can trace the handshake, or some form of it, back thousands of years. And although, the different cultural meanings behind the handshake vary as much as the cultures themselves, at the very core of them all, is a similar implication — acknowledgment, acceptance, and agreement.

In one of my psychology courses in college, we discussed a case study from the 1940s, which involved approximately [40] newborn babies in an orphanage. **I could not find a direct reference to that study online, but the purpose of the experiment was to determine if humans could survive by only getting their basic physiological needs met without love and affection. The caretakers were instructed not to make eye contact with the babies in the tested group and only to take care of their basic physiological needs. They were told not to talk to, pick up, or cuddle the babies. The babies in the control group had their physiological needs met as well, but the caretakers were instructed to make eye contact with, and to talk to and cuddle them often. The study had to be halted after several months because all the babies in the tested group died. They found no “known” physiological cause of death. In psychology, we now know that they were suffering from “skin hunger” — the biological need for human touch. Believe it or not, there have been similar experiments done around the world throughout history. One of which can be traced back to an infamous emperor from the thirteenth century named Frederick ll. His barbaric experiment on infants garnered the same results as the one mentioned above — the infants all died for lack of love and affection. You could say, they were all dying to be loved.

There have been many studies done on the effect love has on our overall well-being, ultimately leaving many researchers baffled by the scientific data collected that proves it has a profound effect. Dr. Dean Ornish, an American physician and researcher wrote in his 1998 book, Love and Survival: “The scientific evidence. . . leaves little doubt that love and intimacy are powerful determinants of our health and survival. Why they have such an impact remains somewhat a mystery” (Dean Ornish, Love and Survival, p. 22).

I do not know if Dr. Ornish knew this, but the “mystery” can be solved by looking to another book. In the first book of the Bible we read in the Creation story, “God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness:” [Genesis 1:26]

We learn a lot about God the Father and Jesus’ “likeness” when we read the Gospels in the New Testament. When Jesus walked this earth, He spent a lot of time with people. He visited people’s homes in order to fellowship and dine with them. He healed the sick, lame and blind with just a touch. He empathized with people and wept over their hurts and loss. He called the little children to Himself and let them sit on His lap while He taught parables. He went to weddings and other celebrations. He went to the synagogues to read aloud the Word of God, even though He was and still is, the living Word. You get the sense that Jesus was approachable, even though He was the incarnate God, Creator of the universe and everything in it. [John 1:1-5] People wanted to be around Him, to be close to Him, and often, they just wanted to touch Him. Jesus was the embodiment of love because He was and is — God, and the Bible says, “God is love.” [1 John 4:8]

Amid this pandemic, out of necessity, we were sent home, separated from our fellow citizens, and instructed to keep our distance from each other for “our safety and health”. I agree that initially, we, as a country, had to do something to protect ourselves against the unknown, invisible enemy. Those in authority are doing the best they can with the information they have. However, as I watch the news reports and hear suggestion that this might be our “new norm,” I shudder at the thought of no longer shaking hands with or giving hugs to my fellow sojourners in this life.

The handshake and the hug are as inherent in our society, in humanity, as breathing. And although the coronavirus threw a sucker-punch and took the breath out our country and the world in fact, both literally and figuratively, I am reminded often these days of just how much I miss interacting with my fellow humans. We were made for love. We need physical, in-person interaction with each other in order to empathize with, be acknowledged by, and to feel accepted. It is no “mystery” as to why love is a vital determinant in our overall health and survival. It is in our God-given DNA. God made man “in His image; in His likeness” and because we know that “God is love,” we see that God designed us to give and receive love.

President Trump said that he hoped the cure, the shutting down of our country and social distancing, would not be worse than the virus itself, and I cannot help but echo that sentiment. Yes, we need to be cautious, use common-sense, and consider others more than ourselves. That is biblical.

But, if we allow this virus to turn us into a people who are only concerned with getting our physiological needs met — food, medicine and toilet paper; and if we allow this virus to cause us to become a fearful, unapproachable and distant people, unwilling to touch or be touched by others; if we allow the handshake and the warm, empathetic embrace of a hug to become extinct, then we will eventually find ourselves collectively suffering from “skin-hunger,” and we will surely become a people who are “dying to be loved.. As a self-fulfilling prophecy, the cure will be worse than the virus itself, because at our core — we were made for love. 

 Lisa Hannan lives in Valdosta with her husband, attorney Miles Hannan, who has been practicing law in Valdosta for more than 30 years. She has a B.S. in psychology from Valdosta State University. You can find her at www.lisahannan.org.