Have you noticed that people perk up when you use their names? 

Juliet: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Au contraire Juliet – a person’s name is extremely meaningful and significant. It’s personal.

When you go through the checkout line and you greet the cashier, or when your server approaches your table in a restaurant – if you say, “Hi,” you will typically get an automatic response, and most of the time, without eye contact. But say “Hi (their name),” and you will notice a completely different reaction. The person will usually make eye contact with you when they return the greeting, often with a long stare as they ponder how they know you. 

The fact is, they are so accustomed to wearing their name tag, they forget they have it on. But the main reason they look at you is that hardly anyone uses their name and now, you have their attention. 

Most people today are too busy to notice or care about using someone’s name. Some people treat them as self-checkout machines or robot-servers, not even acknowledging them as human beings, as they continue their conversation with someone else on their phone.

When you use someone’s name, you make an instant connection, and you let them know they have your undivided attention, a rare commodity in these days. When you use their name, you make them feel valued because you made it personal. 

“But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called ‘Today…’” (Hebrews 3:13).

All we have is today, this moment, this interaction with this human-being right now. Why not make the most of it? Put down the device and make eye-contact with the person in front of you – and use their name when possible.

By doing so, you increase the likelihood of that person finishing their shift with a little better attitude. Not only that, your intentional act of kindness probably helped improve the experience of the customer who comes behind you in the checkout line or the restaurant. You’re welcome.

Caveat: When using someone’s name, if you’re not sure how to pronounce it, it’s best to ask; and when they tell you, say “Hi (their name). How are you today?” That goes a long way. If you happen to be good at phonetics, then go for it. But make sure you say their name correctly, because the only thing worse than not using their name, is mispronouncing it.

Go ahead. Make it personal. Use people’s names when you can.

Be a blessing and be blessed!

 Lisa Hannan lives in Valdosta with her husband, Attorney Miles Hannan, who has been practicing law in Valdosta for over 30 years. She has a B.S. in psychology from Valdosta State University. You can find her at www.lisahannan.org.